SHE… THE ONE WHOM I ENVY

Poem composed on November 5, 2008

It’s not her 2-3 carat diamond ring I envy
For my favorite Christian band is ‘Casting Crowns’
It’s neither her figure that fits into any gowns
Nor her birth full of grace and glory

It’s also not her perfectly planned life
The ‘out of college straight…
Into the bliss of marriage carriage’
Settling as a noble man’s wife

Nope, I do not envy all of that
For I have counted those things as a loss that
I may gain the true meaning of life
Though it has been presented in a constant strife

What I truly really sincerely envy
Is how she grew up in a faithful family
While my baptism, of my own desire
Had my parents enraged in fire

Praise and worship to the Lord
To her is a form of freedom and right
While I remember having to feel the Lord
Secretly in the darkness of the night

As everyone is given talents to oversee
Thus so hers was encouraged and discovered
While I am stuck in a position year after year
Which I clearly know is not my cup of tea

She graduated from a Christian university
That was the ultimate stab on my heart
I remember how badly I had hoped in every part
To be enrolled in Fuller Theological Seminary

Yet I know there is no point in this envy
For inside I still feel very empty
Everything in life is meant to be earned
And not just to be silently yearned

Thus so a simple prayer of patience
In a hope to fulfil the highest calling
Set forth with single minded obedience
The wheels of life keeps on turning

And no one has the right to the next breath
As much as the right to the next step
The thin line between life and death
Is in the hands of He who holds the map

This poetry is inspired by someone I envy, this girl, should I say young woman since she, though being younger than I am, is already married with two kids. Yes, this is probably one of the only I personally know lady in whom I envy, the rest are stars namely Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba, Catherine Zeta Jones… to name a few. In short, she has everything. I do not envy the materialistic things that she possess, but I really envy the spiritual things she has that I do not have. By the end of the day however, the envy I have towards her becomes very useless for I must confess I have lotsa adventures being me. God created each of us unique and though I envy her, I wouldn’t want to be her. My mind alone is giving me so much adventure that I thank God I’m not bored with myself, that is a little thing that is really enough to sustain my being me. For what it is worth, though envy is still envy, I am quite proud to at least be envious of the right things, if I have to envy at all and in this case yes, I must bluntly confess, I do envy her.