SOULMATE

Poem composed on September 24, 2008

This poem is unfinished. A friend and I had a little chat on the concept of Soulmate in which she believed. I din't believe in it but after she revealed her story, I have to reconsider. The opening of this poem is Plato's concept on Soulmate and I was supposed to continue it with her story written in Chinese to preserve the Chinese style of loving which is similar that to any Taiwanese Drama serial - her fave past-time activity. I only manage to come up with eight stanza for the Chinese part so far because I don't have time to switch into the Chinese way of loving yet. Composing poem doesn't only involve words but picturing ourselves in the imaginary motion picture as well as going through every single re-enactment with feeling and I need more time for that. I am also supposed to write out the pinyin and translate the Chinese verse but still hasn't got the mood to do it. I have been trying to finish this poem, but due to time restriction it has been almost 2 months and it is still unfinished. I think I should just post it first

At the corner of the museum
Hides Plato’s symposium
Preserving Aristophanes’ dialogue
And thus starts this poem’s prologue

A very very long long time ago
There existed Hermaphrodite
Spherical beings with big appetite
In circular motion they come and go

A male and a female in combination
A single head with two faces
Four hands in constant action
Four legs rolling at speedy paces

They were remarkable in strength
Because of that they often ascended
Attacking the gods at full length
Causing the entire Heaven to be offended

God of all gods Zeus in particular was distressed
At the boundary they so outrageously trespassed
Coz’ he had already promised to never again use thunders
As he had done before on earth to eradicate all monsters

Zeus plotted another way to made his rage came true
Capturing and slicing each one of them into two
The excess skin was knotted at the center to form the navel
From then on, with only two legs they could travel

In chaos they ran about
Each half screaming aloud
Wandering in desperation, searching
For the other half that is missing

And when finally each other they found
They will immediately seek to be bound
In an eternal embrace delivered by fate
Thus so, they are reunited as ‘Soulmates’

In soulmate I never believed
Coz’ by destiny I’m often deceived
Forlorn I am hoping for ‘the one’
With such ideals I’m done

Till in walked a lady I befriended
Of much more relationship experience
She unfolded their story of inconvenience
And thus so the concept she defended

初次见他那潇洒之微笑
他那温柔笑容惟妙惟肖
感觉在怎么说也说不清
心里小声地说’一见钟情’

不知不觉已经到了黄昏
时间逼我们俩面对现实
就这样他身影渐渐消失
只留下一句话’有缘无分’

SHE… THE ONE WHOM I ENVY

Poem composed on November 5, 2008

It’s not her 2-3 carat diamond ring I envy
For my favorite Christian band is ‘Casting Crowns’
It’s neither her figure that fits into any gowns
Nor her birth full of grace and glory

It’s also not her perfectly planned life
The ‘out of college straight…
Into the bliss of marriage carriage’
Settling as a noble man’s wife

Nope, I do not envy all of that
For I have counted those things as a loss that
I may gain the true meaning of life
Though it has been presented in a constant strife

What I truly really sincerely envy
Is how she grew up in a faithful family
While my baptism, of my own desire
Had my parents enraged in fire

Praise and worship to the Lord
To her is a form of freedom and right
While I remember having to feel the Lord
Secretly in the darkness of the night

As everyone is given talents to oversee
Thus so hers was encouraged and discovered
While I am stuck in a position year after year
Which I clearly know is not my cup of tea

She graduated from a Christian university
That was the ultimate stab on my heart
I remember how badly I had hoped in every part
To be enrolled in Fuller Theological Seminary

Yet I know there is no point in this envy
For inside I still feel very empty
Everything in life is meant to be earned
And not just to be silently yearned

Thus so a simple prayer of patience
In a hope to fulfil the highest calling
Set forth with single minded obedience
The wheels of life keeps on turning

And no one has the right to the next breath
As much as the right to the next step
The thin line between life and death
Is in the hands of He who holds the map

This poetry is inspired by someone I envy, this girl, should I say young woman since she, though being younger than I am, is already married with two kids. Yes, this is probably one of the only I personally know lady in whom I envy, the rest are stars namely Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba, Catherine Zeta Jones… to name a few. In short, she has everything. I do not envy the materialistic things that she possess, but I really envy the spiritual things she has that I do not have. By the end of the day however, the envy I have towards her becomes very useless for I must confess I have lotsa adventures being me. God created each of us unique and though I envy her, I wouldn’t want to be her. My mind alone is giving me so much adventure that I thank God I’m not bored with myself, that is a little thing that is really enough to sustain my being me. For what it is worth, though envy is still envy, I am quite proud to at least be envious of the right things, if I have to envy at all and in this case yes, I must bluntly confess, I do envy her.

WHAT IF…

What if what you said became someone’s vision
What if God used your tongue to change lives
What if someone were waiting for a direction
A simple testimony is all it takes to change lives

What if he was going to do something bad
But did not coz he remembered your phrases
What if she was emotionally hurt and sad
But find tranquility recalling your Bible verses

What if your prayer became a solution
What if the Bible you gave got them out of desolation
What if you can make the difference
Would you then still keep your silence

You were once lost too, helpless and hopeless
And were then found by Grace into eternity
Would you then have the heart so ruthless
As to watch them walk into the abyss of misery

If He paid the price by crucifixion
For the sake of everyone’s salvation
Would you still be hiding behind a mask
Could mere words be too much to ask?

Every chance is an opportunity
To change someone’s eternity
Yet we forgone so many chances
When we could facilitate so many changes

So many reasons, so many treasons
Yet God is patient, yet He is lenient
Waiting till we find the conviction
To bring forth the good news of salvation

SILENT SCREAM OF THE SOUL

Poem composed on October 10, 2008

Help me, someone please help me
Teach me how to stop denying
Show me how to stop lying
Torment me no longer, spare me

About how to like him I’m oblivious
When it is just so very obvious
That he is running in my mind
All day long I’m tied to a bind

I long to be free and try to get over
Yet each time I encounter fear
His name is the only one I remember
His blurring shadow is the only thing I hold dear

My soul is screaming in silence
Unable to eradicate this pestilence
By definition he is a stranger
By emotion I want him as a lover

I really do loathe his evil vices
Yet I can’t resist his advances
I have to stop communication
That is the only solution

LINGERING LIMERENCE

Poem composed on September 30, 2008
[Exactly one month after my birthday!]

It has been a fortnight since your disappearance
Contradictorily, never have you made an appearance
Besides, quite far away is our current place of residence
Yet I must confess, I am in a state of lingering limerence

From Professor Dorothy Tennov I draw reference
Author of a book entitled 'Love and Limerance'
It has only been a century since her theory's emergence
Yet the concept captured my inner state's essence

Thus so reveals the much researched psychological science;
Limerence is an involuntary cognitive and emotional indulgence
A feeling of intense romantic desire towards a person's presence
As compared to infatuation it lasts longer in terms of endurance

The unexplainable chemistry accounts for the main substance
Consequentially leading to sensitivity to any external amorous ambience
Adopting continuous intrusive thinking as the form of respondence
Longing is made acute with reciprocation as the reaction in preference

Both like and loathe are combined in an inharmonious ambivalence
Uncertainty and anxiety are found equal on the emotional scale of balance
Intense joy and extreme despair are harbored as the cognitive dissonance
Ironically, though miserable, I as the victim still desire a delayed desinence

It is undeniable that you are a person of tremendous significance
Definitely I have enjoyed our intellectual means of correspondence
Equipped with wisdom and vision you are a source of reliable guidance
In which I hope those qualities to me would be granted a transference

As much as I yearn a rendezvous however, I fear that upon our conference
Either one of us might display signs indicating attraction discordance
Upon which either one of us would crumple into a condition of despondence
As many 'strangers' in similar situations have testified to the exact experience

Thus so destiny has imposed upon us an edict to refrain from emotional dependence
This, at least to me won’t be easy, almost equivalent to that of a condescendence
Apathy shall make an entrance and settle in as time nurture it with distance
Meanwhile this LINGERING LIMERENCE in my heart will still shine in radiance

What made the heart grow fonder?
An absence in accordance that longs for a presence in patience...

WALKING ON WATER , DANCING ON THE OCEAN

Lyric to a song composed on September 26, 2008
It’s a pity I don’t have the music for this one
But this is more of a Christian contemporary praise genre


I’m walking on water
With my faith I’m prancing
I’m dancing on the ocean
With my trust I’m swaying

For the truth in action
Will have me freed
To walk on waters of deep
To dance on roaring ocean

I shall have nothing to be feared
Trusting that my call He will hear
In His time, He will have me delivered
Then He will wipe away all of my tears

Troubled eagles rise higher
Thriving over rolling thunders
So will I sing in an exuberant joy
All circumstances I will enjoy

Bridge:
For He is my Lord who turns trials into triumphs

So I’m walking on water
With my faith I’m prancing
I’m dancing on the ocean
With my trust I’m swaying

I’m gonna keep on walking on water
With my faith I keep on prancing
I’m gonna keep on dancing on the ocean
With my trust I keep on swaying

IRONY: THE MOCKERY OF DESTINY

Poem composed on September 25, 2008

If the fact can proof that you never quite came
Then why do I feel as if you’ve already left
Inside I wonder if you feel the same
Abandoned in between tall valleys’ deep cleft

If the truth tells that I’ve never seen your face
Then how is it that you are constantly in my mind
Just like a blizzard turning expeditors half blind
I am trapped in a state of hazy glazy daze

Elevated into a higher kind of irony
I am climbing against the cliff of destiny
At each crawl it hurls out mockery
Making the path towards the peak so slippery

Am I defying gravity
Am I denying my identity
Squeezing out the last drip of dignity
I fell into the deep gorge of self-pity

THE SPINSTERS AND THE CATS

Poem composed on September 23, 2008

And so they slid into spinsterhood
Accompanied by swinging moods
Delivered by menopause
And wrinkles time had caused

There were five of them
Old crumpled pathetic hags
Who never cease to nag
With screechy voice caused by phlegm

They live next to each other
Each with nine cats
All of them as black as bats
Yet the neighbors can’t be bothered

To the neighbors they don’t exist
They never came out in daylight
They were all feline narcissist
Amusing themselves in the coldness of night

Like the cats they keep
Alone in bed they sleep
Aloof, antisocial and self-reliant
Always annoyed and in self-denial

Approaching thirty with no sign of nuptial bliss, I have just received an invitation to join my other 4 best friends into the bandwagon of spinsterhood, they title it; ‘The Spinsters and The Cats’. Apparently, my best friends have been planning on establishing a retirement community. It is a joke really, but I promised one of them to write a poem as a toast to the proposal. Thus so the above is the exaggerated elaboration.

The five of us are; Shan, Fritti Tailchaser, Liverella, Moo-moo, and Olafia (Reminiscing the good old Catholic Junior College days – hold on, since almost all of us came from Catholic single-gender school, that might just explain our current state which, can be summarized in one word; Deprived)

IN LOVE WITH LOVE

Poem composed on September 23, 2008

Two quotes of the opposites
Tells the tale of where they sit
The wine in the glass is not plenty
But is it half full or half empty

‘The greatest thing, you will ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return’
‘The hardest thing, you will come to yearn
Is just to love someone and have that someone love you in return’

Two individuals
Intertwined in a duet
A Bachelor, an eligible man
A Bachelorette, an eligible woman

He needed a playmate
She needed a soulmate
Though separated by cross-country gate
Still they wondered if in between there is fate

They enjoyed each other’s wit
With each other they feel the comfort
Yet none would make the effort
Wondering if it is a good idea to meet

Inside, both are numb
Like a prick in the thumb
Where pain makes one flinch away
And so from emotion they have walked away

Failed relationships, series by series
As if peeling layer by layer, a round onion
Only to discover that the core is empty
Vacuum with no sign of probable union

Thus so in this game
No one has ever gained
No happy ending has been found
In the ride of a Merry go Round

The useless circular chase of infinity
Persistently searching for serendipity
But in fact it only fetches illusion
Caused by the spinning motion

On the white figurine horse he sat
Living the dream of being the knight
Round and round he goes till midnight
Still he hasn’t seen his princess yet

She nestled herself on the Cinderella carriage
In that wedding dress her beauty is pronounced
Hallucinating a fairy tale marriage
With the groom’s name still unannounced

Each closed his/her eyes in resignation
To their unknown travel destination
Right there and then, in that instant moment
They both fell into the same entrapment

They were IN LOVE WITH LOVE

HECTOR HECTOR

Poem composed on September 21, 2008

Hector Hector
The most eligible bachelor
In Greek Mythology a Trojan fighter
In business world a designated director

Who would dare to inquire
What you really require
Around him ladies nervously perspire
While gentlemen are inspired

With life blown up with a projector
I really do wonder
If that made hearts grew fonder
Or envious eyes grow blinder

Many want to be your Esther
Endlessly they try to pester
But many grew bitter
Because the flame just won’t flicker

Passion is an illusion
It’s fine to stumble on infatuation
But to ensure good continuation
Marriage should be based on decision

Thousands one can collect in the compound
But a combo of beauty, brain and background
Though not impossible, is quite hard to be found
Nevertheless the search must go another round

At the corner I am observing
A simple poet composing
You will find your happy ending
Then I’ll continue documenting

I’m sure you don’t mind
Your story being unwind
This poem you won’t ever discover
Coz’ to you I’m a mere stranger

This is like being ‘kaypoh’. This is so totally none of my concern. Well, I just bought a book (not a magazine) and while reading I found his name there. I’ve actually met this person a few times and so I know a few lines of his story, though he doesn’t know I exist. I’m the kind of girl whom no one notices. Since I am in the poetic mode as of late, verses just sprang up my mind and I thought I just document it. His name mentioned in the first verse has been modified to protect his identity, lest I get into trouble offending a big shot.

Strangely, I think chose the right name for his ‘cover name’, not only they rhyme, In Greek mythology, Hectōr (Ἕκτωρ, means "holding fast"), or Hektōr, is a Trojan prince and one of the greatest fighters in the Trojan War. He is the son of Priam and Hecuba, descendant of Dardanus, who lived under Mount Ida, and of Tros, the founder of Troy. He acts as leader of the Trojans and their allies in the defense of Troy. Hector is one of the Nine Worthies, as he is known not only for his courage but also for his noble nature. (Wikipedia)

Had the business world been a Greek Mythology, he is the equivalent of Hector! What a coincidence! I'm flabbergasted!

LOVE WILL FIND US

Some day…
One day…
When the sky is blue
When the season is due

That would be the time
When destiny will chime
And I will see you
Only then will it be true

Some day…
One day…
When your heart is ripe
When the feeling’s right

That would be the day
When you will say
And I will hear
Only then will it be clear

So many sleepless solitary nights
Coz’ I’ve missed your voice
So many endless illusionary sights
Coz’ I’ve longed to see your poise

Would we ever meet?
I really don’t know
Would we ever greet?
I’m feeling so low

For now I can only trust
That some day
One fine day
Love will find us…

ON MY KNEES ONCE AGAIN

Poem composed September 18, 2008

On my knees, once again
Letting it down, all the strain
I lift my hands up, once again
Surrendering all the pain

Standing in the dark rain
With spirit on the wane
Everything seems in vain
Without You there’s no gain

So take Your place and reign
Over my heart and brain
Take me back to the train
Show me the right lane

No more pretense, no need to feign
I lay myself flat on the plane
This is me, simple and plain
Use me for Your kingdom’s gain

I am returning to God. I need Him in my life. I have wandered away for a very long time.
They say it's never too late, it's never too far...
It's just a step away and so, once again on my knees