Monday, January 30, 2006

TESTIMONY TO ZHU AY

Testimony composed January 30, 2006

Confident and composed she stood tall
Like an Eagle she rose above all
Though many times she fell
But in His promises she still dwells

Like a diamond crystalized so well
Her personality charms like a spell
A gentle motion of a finger
And around her everyone will linger

Gentlemen are dazzled
While fair ladies are puzzled
For when her eyes twinkled
They feel fairy dust sprinkled

I adore well-rounded personalities such as Zhu Ay. She is a business woman as much as she is a well maintained 'nyonya'. She looks dressy in Valentino as much as she looks trendy in Mango. Most of all, she shines in the glitz & glamour of Saturday nights as much as she experiences grace & glory on Sunday mornings.

As for God His way is perfect, The word of the Lord is proven, He is a shield to all who trust in Him. That the genuiness of your faith, being much more precious than Gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor and glory at the revelation of Christ.

TESTIMONY TO CAROLINE

Tetimony composed on January 28, 2006

Caroline, Caroline
What gentleman have not used a pick up line
To catch your attention
To win your affection

Caroline, Caroline
Princes feel fine
By just watching your sweet disposition
They feel the higher elevation

Caroline, Caroline
You've made many men so blind
Filled with majestic imagination
Full of sparkling sensation

Caroline, Caroline
Created so divine
You are the chosen generation
To bring forth salvation

Erm... do I sound like I'm having a crush on her? Oops. Actually it's more like admiration for celestial Caroline comes complete with characteristics such as caring, concerned, cheerful, cheeky, cheesy, cute, cuddly, calm, composed and compassionate.

Blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfilment of what was spoken to her from the Lord...

Sunday, January 29, 2006

JANGANLAH KITA BERPISAH LAGI

Epithalamium or 'wedding song' composed sometime in 2003

Hangat tatapanmu
Lembut sentuhanmu kasih
Tak dapat ku pergi jauh-jauh darimu

Kan kuingin selalu, bersama denganmu
Jalan dalam rencanaNya berdua
Kan kuingin selalu, bersatu denganmu
Menelusuri suryaNya berdua

Dibawah naugan sayapNya
Berpijak diatas awanNya
Terbang dengan sayap fajar

Oh kasih, kekasihku
Kaulah belahan jiwaku
Oh kasih, kekasihku
Kaulah malaikat pribadiku

Tulang daripada tulangku
Hati daripada hatiku
Oh kasih… janganlah kita berpisah lagi

This is the very first Epithalamium (Latin) or ‘wedding song’ I have ever composed in my life. It is actually a Christian wedding song. To be performed in a duet between the groom and the bride. This is the very first time I am publishing it. The title means ‘Let’s never separate again’. If you are wondering if there is a particular person I composed this song for… the answer would be NO. But the background of this song is coming from a girl who is always engaged in long distance relationship. She is so tired of being so far away from her beau. So she composed this song where she is saying that she looks forward to their union which will bring synergy to carry out God’s work and that they should not separate again after the matrimony.

BERSERAH (SURRENDER)

Song composed sometime in 2003

Kekuatanku, perlindunganku
Hanyalah dariMu saja
Segala yang ada padaku
Hanyalah bagiMu saja

Kuberharap, kuberserah
Hanya, kepadaMu saja
Seluruh hidupku, kupersembah
Pakailah tuk rencanaMu

Meski jalanMu bukan jalanku
RencanaMu beda denganku
Oh Tuhan, ajarilah aku
Tuk slalu setia kepadaMu

Meski tubuhku, hancur berkeping
Jiwaku, tersayat habis
Oh Tuhan, ajarilah aku
Tuk tetap setia kepadamu

An Indonesian Christian song I composed in year 2003. The title means ‘surrender’. It is about offering my life to God, trusting in His way which differs from mine and requesting Him for the strength to be faithful to Him despite difficult circumstances. At that time I was going through so much. There were something like persecution to my faith, my ambition cannot be fulfilled, I lost practically everything from fellowship, church, career, ministry, dreams, friends, etc. But He gave me the strength to endure and turn situations around for my good. God works for the good of those who loves Him and who has been called in accordance to His purpose.

SETTING YOU FREE

Poem composed on January 27, 2006

Rippling thoughts of you, running in my mind
Crashing waves of emotion, put me to a bind
Miserably longing for your touch
Can’t I escape from your clutch?

I miss you, yet the very you I avoid
For each time I see you, I feel so void
All I can do is fly like a sparrow
And still enjoy this sweet sorrow

They say true love doesn’t always get to keep
Nevertheless it always gives
Thus so I will try to be
Farewell dear one, I am setting you free

This one tells a girl who is trying to get over a guy. She has been trying to get over him for a year, yet… it always seems to come back. He would disappear, then re-appear again, disappear then re-appear again. She wants to break away, but there’s just always something that she has to say to the guy and what she has to say actually accurately points out what he is going through then and it even predicts his future. Yes, it is prophetical. Yet there is nothing going on between them, if there is, then it would be a one sided feeling from the girl. So why not just let go of everything and move on.

NEXT TO YOU, WHERE I BELONG

Poem composed on January 24, 2006

That evening I sat beside you
Separated by one empty seat
Can’t stop stealing glances at you
Heart skipping one full beat

Persistent you were with your cool
I felt like a total fool
Please do realize
That I’m trying hard to neutralize

This emotional eruption
This illogical confusion
This unrealistic illusion
This awkward tension

That you could never guess
That you never cared
That I always suppress
That telling you I never dared

I closed my eyes
Accompanied with a long sigh
Being with you are like all lies
Disappointment after feeling high

I opened my eyes
And found you seated next to me
No, these are not lies
Full of hope I will still be

Love always trusts
Love suffers long
Someday there will be ‘us’
Coz’ I know you are where I belong

Faith and feeling are something very fragile, one moment it is here, the next it is gone. This poem hopes to show just that. It is about a newly budding relationship. It is a mutual attraction, yet the guy is trying to conceal his interest in her. He would sit next to her, but always leave one empty chair between them. It is interesting to note that usually it is the person we are not talking to whom we like. The same way, it is usually the person we have interest in that we keep a little distance from by being cold or aloof. Otherwise if he really has no feelings at all, he would just sit next to her and get it over and done with since there totally is no feeling at all. Make sense? Meanwhile the girl is confused with his behavior. She is trying her best to just get over him but the moment he makes his little encouraging move, she’s back on track in her high hopes.

THINKING OF YOU

Poem composed on January 23, 2006

I caught you glancing at me
Longing for friendship?, I wonder
Desire burning inside me
Do you feel the same way?, I ponder

Cold and aloof are your expressions
Hope it’s not a silent rejection
Precious please cease the torment
Or is it just your natural temperament?

These ones are inspired by a girl friend. Tells the story of a newly budding relationship, when both parties seems interested in one another, but no move is made on the male side yet. He seems to be considering on whether he should dive on the chase on not. Meanwhile the girl is waiting for him to make his bloody move. The poem is made from the girl’s side. I have no access to the guy’s side yet. It would be really nice if one day I have access to the guy’s emotion and then compile both poetries to see what they were thinking and feeling during this time of a newly budding relationship.

LETTING YOU GO

Poem composed on January 13, 2006

My heart is breaking into pieces
Coz’ I haven’t heard from you for ages
If you’ve stopped to pursue
There’s nothing I can do

I have to let you go
I like you still though
So spare some thoughts for me
And come back beside me

This is a very simple poem that tells of the common feeling ladies have after being pursued by men and left behind just like that when the men are busy working on a project or have other interest. I call it the disappearing man syndrome.

MERE DREAM

Poem composed on January 24, 2006

In my dreams I hear you sing
In my ears you were whispering
I hold on tightly to myself shivering
Feeling of warmth lingering

Songs of love… surrounding
Gentle touch of your hand… caressing
Melancholic melody… embracing
Yet I am merely… dreaming

Open your eyes, open your heart
Stay by my side, let’s not be apart
Sing for me and be my lover
Not just in my dreams, but forever

As you get to know a person better and suddenly you realize that that person has the qualities in which you have been looking for all your life… Have you ever had that feeling? Well, this poem comes from a girl whom after listening to this guy singing her fave song by her fave singer, she was mesmerized and started realizing that he might put an end to her life long search for the one. Anyway after that evening they met, he started appearing in her dreams… common syndrome eh?

I THINK I AM FALLING

Poem composed on January 23, 2006

I look into your eyes that sparkle
And find starts in my heart
As if being pierced with darts
Oh so painful yet it twinkles

Suddenly silence surrounds
The only thing I hear is my heart’s pounds
Why can’t I deny this feeling?
This time, I think I am falling

This poem is a sort of like a short momentum when one realizes that one is falling in love. It is not elaborated by purpose. It is supposed to be very short to express the person’s dilemma and denial. Two things we experience as we start to like a person… is this contradictory feeling true? Do I really like that person, Why? Then abrupt stop to whisk away any incoming thought.

SOME DAY, ONE DAY

Poem composed on January 23, 2006

I am aware that we are so far apart
Yet your voice lingers in my heart
Gentle breeze embraces
Soft whispers of caresses

On you my deep eyes were gazing
Savoring your deep voice singing
Intertwined in a one sided feeling
Lost, but yet irresistibly hoping

That some day, one day
You might just say
That in me you have found someone
That in me you have found ‘The One’

As you get to know a person better and suddenly you realize that that person has the qualities in which you have been looking for all your life… Have you ever had that feeling? Well, this poem comes from a girl whom after listening to this guy singing her fave song by her fave singer, she was mesmerized and started realizing that he might put an end to her life long search for the one. But of course, this is a pretty one sided feeling for the guy doesn’t even realize her existence that evening.

A WISH FOR THE SEASON

Poem composed on December 24, 2005

If there’s a wish to be made this season
Then it’ll be somebody who treats me pleasant
If there’s a present I can request
Than it’ll be an end to my spouse quest

Someone to spend my days with
Someone to share my life with
Someone to comfort me when I’m sad
Someone to spank me when I’m bad

This poem is rather naughty, coming out of a cute girl who is making her little Christmas wish to Santa. Am trying to make a jingle out of it.

NOT ME BUT HER

Poem composed on December 17, 2004

I caught your eyes looking
Full of sorrow, illustrating longing
Yet I know it’s not me you are looking
Not me, but her

I caught your lips parting
Full of emotion, silently whispering
Yet I know it’s not my name you are whispering
Not me, but her

I caught your hand around mine, engulfing
Full of grip, letting my hand escape it seems unwilling
Yet I know it’s not my hand you are caressing
Not me, but her

When I look into your eyes
You see her tears pleading so nice
When I parted my lips
You hear her voice kissing your lips
When I stretched out my hands
You feel yourself united with her in a dance

After all...It was her that you see
When you pointed out the rainbow to me
It was her that you felt dear
When we spent the afternoon by the pier
It was her that took your heart far
When we take a stroll under the stars

The very one I've been searching
In many lands, in every weather
Awaits for the next season coming
With his unchanging longing for another

The very one I sit with together
May be physically touchable
But yet emotionally unreachable
With his heart next to another

All of these...While I know that another
Finds poetry in my laughter
Songs in my voice of grace
Paradise in my warm embrace

The story behind this poem tells of a young lady who was introduced to a young lad by their parents with the hope that they may be together. After spending a few dates together, the young lady realizes that the young lad is still in love with another girl, the girl in his previous relationship. Thus so she recollected memories of their time together and realizes that though he was physically by her side, his heart was with that other girl. Meawhile, the lady had left plenty of her admirers, sincerely trying to like the lad in obedience to her parents wish. This is a true story, not merely my imagination. Trust me, it really hurts, I ought to know coz’…

WELCOME TO Carmen Pathetique

Carmen Pathetique - Established October 13, 2009

‘Carmen’ is a Latin term for ‘song’, a term used in the Middle Ages and the Renaissance for many types of song, usually to lyric poetry. In Roman mythology, Carmenta was the goddess of childbirth and prophecy, associated with technological innovation as well as the protection of mothers and children, and a patron of midwives. She was also said to have invented the Latin alphabet. Her name is derived from Latin carmen, meaning a magic spell, oracle or song, and also the root of the English word charm.‘Pathetique’ refers to being capable of, evoking, or marked by strong emotions such as melancholy, pity, sadness, sorrow, suffering, sympathy, tenderness. ‘Pathetique’ therefore may be rendered as affecting, passionate, pitiable, or sad. Side by side together in harmony, it is my honor to present you… Carmen Pathetique… where ‘Pathetic Poet Passionate Poetry’ comes to life…Carmen Pathetique is the author for all poetry and song lyric compositions published at Chirographum. This blog is dedicated to the life of the author… Her thoughts that breathe and her poetry that burns…

Former Blog:
CHIROGRAPHUM, the latin word for autograph, a person’s own handwriting, written character. Similarly, the things written in this blog are authentically original, personally written by myself.
I have been composing poetries, short stories, essays and sometimes songs since I was 13. Strangely, most of my inspiration doesn’t come from my real life experience rather it comes from what other people are going through. I taught myself to feel what others’ are feeling, see what others’ are seeing, hear what others are hearing and then illustrate them in lyrics and sometimes music.
These are some Latin words I found interesting and synonymous to the elements I hope to embed in my SCRIPTUM (compositions);
SOMNIUM: dream, daydream, fancy, foolishness, nonsense
SAPIENTIA: wisdom
SANCTIMONIA: purity, sanctity, virtue, charity, sacredness
SENSUS: feelings
EPITHALAMIUM: wedding song
Emotion is my Mission, Salvation is my Vision… Emotion and Imagination, makes the perfect blend of my passion. After all which one of us doesn’t need drama and comedy, lyrics and music, rhythm and rhymes?