I GUESS WE ARE JUST NOT MEANT TO BE

Poem composed on January 11, 2009

How can I get rid of this despair feeling?
I’m breathing yet I don’t feel alive
I’m conscious yet I am not awake
I’m walking yet like a ghost I am gliding

I’ve searched for you over hills over dale
In many lands, in every weather
I thought we could have a happy tale
Yet I can’t even be in your arms, let alone be together

Halfway in between dead and alive
I find myself breathing in long sighs
Hanging in the middle of heaven and hell
In perpetual torment I’m forced to dwell

It doesn’t take too long to see
That I’m living in my fantasy
While you’re set in your reality
I guess we are just not meant to be

The inspiration comes from a friend who is going through a pre-relationship getting to know each other phase and she finds that in that man she finds someone she has been looking for, yet they are separated by distance, culture and religion. Soon reality sets in to pull them apart from each other.

PSALM OF THE TOSSED OUT ANGEL

Poem composed on March 8, 2009

Why would You deny me of affection?
When I have served You so well?
Please release me from this conviction
And I shall gracefully bid You farewell

You created me but yet You forget that I have a heart
That I should comply to Your so called better will
But my desires and dreams You don’t intend to fulfill
Gosh, You really know how to make my life hard!

You elevated and regarded me as Your Angel
Yet You hold me by the neck in a strangle
You took away every single thing I hold dear
And told me to constantly be obedient in fear

I spent most of my evenings occupied in prayer
Then why are You still putting me in torturous fire
When You clearly know that I have nowhere to go
You want me to stoop down, but for how low?

You clearly know how much I love you
The deepest part of my spirit You see
Yet still You withdraw Yourself from me
Are You then about to destroy me too?

You gave me the name: Faith Sojourner
Towards Your calling I have worked my bone
After those years, I am disappointed to discover
That You have tossed me and left me all alone

I feel much better... I know God is always there for me, I'm just cranky, I'm entitled one day to be a Bitch every month so am taking it just as if an employee were to take a leave...

“TO CHOOSE LOVE BY ANOTHER’S EYES”

Poem composed on March 7, 2009

Yet another introduction
Yet another speculation
Yet another expectation
Yet another illusion

How many times must I go through?
Being blindfolded from what is true
“To choose love by another’s eyes”
And live the union full of lies

How many times must I endure?
Having given this heart so pure
Under pressure to make it workable
Yet he was emotionally unavailable

How many times must I listen?
To him telling me over and over
Of how he still misses and loves her
How much longer must I be patient?

Should I laugh or should I cry?
Laugh over the abuse accepted
Cry for being under appreciated
Perhaps I should laugh and then cry

The quote "To choose love by another's eyes" is taken from Wiliiam Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. This poem is inspired by a girl whom in her sincere effort to fulfill filial piety duty to her parents and to please her parents have gone through parental introductions but as always the guys were emotionally unavailable, entangled in forbidden relationships. She has always been expected to win their hearts but no matter how good she is, these guys do not see her, for their hearts already belong to those girls… In the end she put a line and a full-stop to the condition and set herself free…

SILENT SMILES

Poem composed on March 7, 2009

Savoring Sour sally
Over talks so silly
No longer over the Telly
Sat in front of me physically

I must have acted like a Wally
As he tabbed my ‘ex-es’ into a tally
And I did replied him in my folly
In turn his queries built up as if a rally

He said I was all too smiley
Taking his misery stories too lightly
But in fact I was expressing subtly
Revealing something inside, delicately

I wish things can be said simply
But sometimes even honest ‘yours truly’
Would not come out gracefully
Silent smiles always work wonderfully

WOMEN AND WINE, WINE AND WOMEN

Poem composed on March 6, 2009

A moment of truth, a moment of honesty
Betweens good friends drowned in sorrow
They gathered in the suburban winery
And released to unravel of what is to follow

Women and wine
Cause any men to feel fine
Wine and women
Shares a lot in common

They come in bottles of shapes and color
But like books cannot be judged by cover
After a few bold sips and brave action slips
You’ll feel the sensation in your lips

If men are willing to wait a little longer
Guaranteed their quality would be better
For the wisdom in women come with age
Similar to mature wine ripening in a Vintage

Time is a factor of extreme importance
Every drama will have its deliverance
Thus so a decanter is of absolute essential
In taking a moment to settle the particle

Decant the wine in a few swirling purls
As if watching her fingers dance in her curls
Inhale the breath of the purple solution
Into her lips exhale the breath of pure passion

Take time to appreciate the alluring aroma
As you engulf them in the amorous aura
The waning of the night loosens up distrusts
By all means then indulge in the lust of thrusts

Feel the surrounding temperature rising
Enjoy the action that continues rolling
Coz’ the moment when dawn breaks
Comes the resentment of being awake

Long after they were both gone
In the remains of that one night bond
Somehow somewhere there is a hunger
For that amorous feeling to linger

This is supposed to be a Happy Birthday poem to a friend who writes poetry as well. Art joins hearts… He told me once that there was a moment four of us had in a little restaurant called Toscano back in 2006 and it was for him a moment of truth, a moment of honesty. I came late so I had very little wine, while they’ve been drinking for a long while. Under the influence he shared his heart out and so on his birthday, I hope to blend wine, women and more into a poem piece that would ignite his imagination… Happy Birthday

CERTAIN THINGS BEGUN, LONG BEFORE THEY STARTED

Poem composed on March 5, 2009

Discoursing through the twist of time

The tale of the two unwinds

As strangers they crossed lines

In the chime of fate, intertwined

Each felt the scent of familiarity

Somewhere drowned in the sea of memory

Yet none stopped and continued hurriedly

As daily task demanded responsibility

Under the same sky, months later

With mutual friends they sat together

Drowned in the midst of chatter

They became inquisitive of each other

In a sudden spin of sharp turn

In a flash of the far away past

That feeling of familiarity returns

Perhaps once they had crossed path

As if a sudden sprung of spring plant

Both looked into each other… startled

Certain things in life have begun

Long before they were even started

This poem is inspired by a recent someone that I met… When I heard of the person’s name, somehow a feeling of déjàvu overwhelmed me and I feel that I was supposed to meet that person a few months ago… There are people in our lives that no matter how many times we miss the chance of meeting them, destiny will create that chance over and over again by letting our path cross again and again till we get to know each other… But as a friend put it; destiny may brought people in our lives but it is our heart that determines whether the person stays or not…

YOU WERE NO LONGER THERE

Poem composed on February 22, 2009

Sitting in the gloom
I find my heart bloom
As I caught your smile
And your twinkling eyes

I look up to the sky
To feel the drizzle
On my face they sizzle
I guess even Heaven cry

I returned my gaze
But you were no longer there
I looked around me, everywhere
But all I see was clouds of haze

Where are you?
When did you disappear?
Where have you gone to?
Will you re-appear?

Your face grayish blur
Your eyebrows as light as fur
Your shadow vanishing
Your presence evaporating

I couldn’t find you anywhere
From the fog of emotion I struggled to rise
And in momentary clarity I realized
That yes, you were once there

You were smiling at me from there
When the x-trail slipped and swirled
And landed right where you were
Everything else after was a wind whirl

The illusionary illustration before me now
Is merely your lingering shadow
The occurrences that fate has allowed
Left most of us sorrow and hollow

The mood of the poem followed the drizzling gloom of the sky… Had it been a sunny day, I would have written something cheerful… But it was ‘twilighting’ into the night, plus drizzling… and the caresses of the music was jazzy melancholic… so the story of the poem followed that a person had an illusion of sitting together with that special someone, but the sight of that special someone quickly disappeared in the misty and blurry sunset. The person awaken the mind into momentary alertness in search of that special someone and realized that it was just a scene from the past; the person was supposed to have coffee with that special someone at that place but an accident happened and the emptiness of the soul creates a lingering shadow of that special person in extension the action in the form of illusion, something that reality cannot continue. The end of the poem is generalized to provoke our thoughts on cruel occurrences that fate has allowed to happen that left us sorrow and hollow…

And stop guessing please, no one present then had such an incident… This is purely imagination… People always think that poetry reflects the person’s personal life, but… no… we’re poets… we’re writers… we’re deceivers… we’re rich in imagination… So just enjoy…